I knew it’d happen one day. I knew it.

The more i fu*cked around, the more i knew i'd find out.

It was like with riding bicycles for a long time. There’s a common accident cyclists get into: breaking their clavicle from coming (forward) off the bike. I knew someone who’d done it 6 times! But I avoided it. For a long time. I barrel-rolled onto cars (chya supes gnarly), hit my head ~with helmet on!~ against city pavement at least twice, and have had my share of close calls (such as riding home from the Presidio to the Marin Headlands one night, with no other biker in sight as I'm crossing the bridge past 10pm. It’s windy, it’s loud, as it is when you cross a bridge. Then... a biker does appear. But he's on his phone, at night, taking up the whole tiny very small lane on the side of the Golden Gate Bridge, the glassy dark water below. He doesn't look up, he's not seeing you, and now you're nearly about to run right into each other. All you can do is go left and hope he goes right. Then, at the last moment he looks up, his eyes widen in panic and he dodges right as you go left. You curse him out, but you make it home safely).

You know??

I avoided that cyclist accident til 2021, when I did break my clavicle – a story for another time – and now, in 2024, i completed the rite of passage for chefs: a nice, dramatic cut by knife. Blood splattering on the walls, the cabinets, the kitchen island, and even the ceiling – although i didn't notice that one for a few days after i let out a nice ol’ sigh and looked up at the ceiling only to be like :O

Part of me wanted to take a photo right in that moment, the rest of me was like fuck. I thought i'd really done it. What was i gonna do, not have the top third of my middle finger??

It was deep and scary looking, but because the blood stopped after putting pressure on for a bit, i figured it was gonna be self-healable. Despite the gash that looked like the finger would never be the same again.

But I wrapped it up, finished cooking the meal in progress, and have been babying it ever since.

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Lessons learned and still processing:

• Um, a knife that is too small for the task can make things dangerous
• Don’t experiment with clunky things like a big squash
• Wear (gloves) protection if you are going to experiment
• Maybe don’t experiment the day you get your knife back from sharpening

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Oct 17 2024 update:

The wound has been healing well

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Oct 22 2024 update:

Incredibly, it's nearly healed. i'm typing with the finger as we speak. it's not 100% but it's maybe in the 90 percentile. I'm hoping to get back into climbing and sports this weekend but tbh i'm still exhausted from last week and weekend, anyway.

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November 9th update:

Ok, I still haven't climbed, it didn't feel ready. It healed so much that the cut is not nearly visible, buut underneath i still get fuzzy sensations on the wound, and if i grab something that puts acute pressure on it, still very much ouch. I think i need to start desensitizing it.

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December 1st, 2024

I didn’t climb today but have been and i don’t notice the cut. It still does hurt with enough direct acute pressure but i think because i haven’t been climbing super hard, nothing is touching it quite yet (i.e. nothing crazy crimpy cause bb hands once again from the weeks off, ugh, classic)